“When we give cheerfully and accept gratefully, everyone is blessed.” – Maya Angelou
In my last blog, I shared how I had received a lot of help from my family and friends as I recovered from falling in the street and landing on my head. I got a great deal of feedback from this community and felt the need to go deeper. The common thread was questioning, how DO we become better receivers?
Maya Angelou’s quote hit me as I pondered the grace of giving and receiving. I know for me it is much easier to give than it is to receive. And, because giving and receiving have such a powerful impact on our relationships. If I resist receiving, I am not honoring the person offering as they make themselves vulnerable by giving. It is as if I am blocking a blessing or robbing them of the joy of giving.
Giving was modeled in my family as I grew up. Receiving was not modeled as effortlessly. I can now see how not being a good receiver can cause burnout, feel like our needs aren’t being met, it creates a reciprocity mentality (a tit for tat thinking) and possible resentment.
Here are some questions to reflect on:
- How do we keep giving from a place of love when our cup is empty?
- What is our motive when we give to others?
- What is the emotion behind the giving?
- Are we tied to the results?
- Are we giving without expecting anything in return?
Please show yourself some grace as you respond to these questions. These questions are not to create judgment or self-recrimination, rather it is to heighten your awareness around why receiving might be a struggle for you.
If we can reframe our perspective around the idea of giving and receiving as a form of energetic circulation, it makes the process feel more gratifying and you can appreciate the value of both giving and receiving.
“The universe operates through dynamic exchange… giving and receiving are different aspects of the flow of energy in the universe. And in our willingness to give that which we seek, we keep the abundance of the universe circulation in our lives.” – Deepak Chopra
We see throughout nature constant reminders of this dynamic exchange that is critical to the flow of life. Giving and receiving! Think about how insects receive nectar and pollinate other flowers. This is one of hundreds of life giving exchanges where there is mutually beneficial give and take. Give yourself permission to be part of this kind of dynamic exchange.
Gabrielle Bernstein taught me 4 questions that have changed my perspective. I start each morning by asking myself these 4 questions. Then before I go to bed each night, I reflect on how well I walked out my intentions:
- How do I want to feel today?
- How do I want to show up/be today?
- What do I want to give today?
- What do I want to receive today?
Please keep me posted on your journey in becoming a more open receiver. My desire is we can all be more balanced in this dynamic exchange!
If you need some grace, please click on this link and I will send you some Grace Cards™. We all need more grace and space to learn and grow.
XoX
Betsy