“Boundaries are really just creating your own personal ground rules and living by them!”
This quote is my personal philosophy for staying true to myself and staying on track. It aligns with the filter I use daily, which is:
I can do this, but I can’t do that!!
This stance comes from a quote by Melody Beattie, (Codependent No More).
“The key to boundaries is not convincing other people that we have limits – it’s convincing ourselves.”
I call boundaries, my personal ground rules. The word boundaries can feel harsh. It reminds me of the barbed wire fence in our back field. It is what demarcates where my property ends and the Air Force Academy land begins. If I bang into that fence, I could end up needing a tetanus shot. While personal ground rules are guidelines which allow us to own the limits we set, what we can and will not tolerate. We mindfully choose our well-being, by managing these limits to reflect our values and purpose. This organically creates authenticity and stability.
“Compassionate people ask for what they need. They say no when they need to, and when they say yes, they mean it. They’re compassionate because their boundaries keep them out of resentment”. – Brené Brown
When we lack clarity, we can feel like we are awash in the sea of sameness as entrepreneurs and small business owners. This confusion or waffling, can cause us to feel unseen, underappreciated and frustrated. This can lead to resentment or feeling guilt when we lack conviction or compromise our values and personal ground rules.
Here are some journaling prompts that can help you set powerful ground rules:
- What does setting healthy limits mean to me?
- Who is a good example of someone I respect who has clear guidelines I can model?
- Am I clear on what my purpose is?
- What are my top 3 values?
- On a scale of 1 -10, how willing am I to living out these values daily?
- If whatever you tolerate in a relationship, is what you will get is true, how have I experienced that in my life?
Because it is the first of a new year, it is really tempting to create resolutions. Personally I do not set resolutions. I prefer to start the new year in this fashion:
- I set goals for the upcoming year
- I schedule in my family time/holidays (that word is juicier for me than vacation) into my calendar
- My quarterly initiatives support my yearly goal
- I go through a Wheel of Life assessment
- I review my personal ground rules
- I rework the languaging of my values if necessary
- I create One Word to guide me through the whole year. (onewordchallenge.com – click this link to join the challenge with me)
- I re-evaluate my morning rituals and adjust if need be
- I check in with my accountability peeps for feedback/insight
- I breathe!
- I adopt a posture of hope because I have planned to do the best of my ability
- This clarity gives me strength to know I can handle what unfolds in 2023
If this topic strikes a chord with you and you want to engage in more discussions like this, we invite you to join Circle of Trust!
This is a proactive way to tend to your soul through connection, a community that encourages one another, and where goodwill is the intent. Please click on the link below to join the Circle of Trust.
HAPPY New Year!! Here is to a clean slate and endless possibilities!!