I just came back from San Antonio, when I was asked how it was, I replied, I feel soul fat!
This blog is going to focus on Soul-Care. I’m not trying to be a snarky word nerd, yet it is my experience that we focus a lot on self-care, not necessarily soul-care. As we approach the holidays it is important to pay attention to our souls.
I believe that self-care is focused primarily on the external whereas soul-care is tending to the internal. Soul can means different things to different people. As you continue reading, I encourage you to look at soul as our life spark, us at our core, it is the seat of our emotions, desires, affections and appetites. Think of it as the deepest and most intimate part of who we are. Soul is what makes us humans. This context makes the following quote something to strive for as we approach the multiple holidays.
“Our soul is like an inner stream of water, which gives strength, direction, and harmony to every other element of our life.” – Dallas Willard
This reminds me of what my daughter Kate advises me, when you are not at your best, just add water! Meaning, stop and have a cup of tea, a cup of coffee, a glass of water, take a bath, take a shower, cry, go for a walk by a stream or body of water. Sit quietly and listen to a crashing waves or rain on your phone. When she first mentioned this to me, I mentally took inventory of what works for me… then she listed off the various ways to add water and I knew it was an accurate way to tend to my soul.
Because the soul is intangible, I find it helpful to ask myself throughout the day, does this way of thinking, decision or behavior make my soul sing or sink? When I go to bed at night, I do a check-in and ask myself, did I show up as I intended?
Here are some tip to help you tend to your soul
Be True 2 You!:
Be honest with yourself, what do you need so you don’t lose you? Can you do that one thing that feeds your soul without having to justify it to others? This quote might help you answer that question.
“If you live each day as if it were your last, someday you’ll be right. Every morning I looked in the mirror and asked myself: If today were the last day of my life, would I want to do what I do today? ” ― Steve Jobs
Lean into silence:
Turn off your electronics, TV, social media and music. Quiet anything that distracts you from being silent. Take time to pray, meditate, do a gentle form of yoga, or spend time in nature. This will support you to hear the whispers of your soul!
Gather a few close friends for a meal:
Invite some of your soul sisters to share a meal together. It can be an opportunity to serve your peeps or perhaps have a collective meal where each of you contributes. Focus on what you are grateful for, what adds to your life and encouraging one another.
A healthy soul is a kind soul. Smile when you pass your reflection in the mirror, smile at your neighbors as you go for a walk, hold the door open for someone who might need assistance. A fun way to pay it forward is next time you are at Starbucks, pay for the next person in line. These small acts of kindness spark our joy, which ultimately feeds our soul.
If you are going through a hard time, feel the feels and let them pass through you. Acknowledge the emotion, don’t judge it. There is no need to struggle against something you feel but just can’t explain. Acceptance will support you being more present.
Give yourself some grace and forgive yourself. Richard Rohr taught me that forgiveness is letting go of the past you wish you’d had. It is not asking you to forget, rather it is simply denying your pain or trauma the right to control your thoughts, behavior, or life.
Join Circle of Trust! A proactive way to tend to your soul through connection is to sign up to join the Circle of Trust with the link below.
As we enter this month focused on thankfulness, please remember to include yourself in this. Who you are is important and we need you to be you! As Oscar Wilde reminds me daily, “Be yourself. Everyone else is taken.”
Much love to you and enjoy the holidays!